May 2013
79 posts
awkward-adorkable-me:
deke-it-like-datsyuk:
things to put on my resume
i have as many oscars as leonardo dicaprio
This hurts me.
My BFF Coming out to her 89 Year old Grandmother
BFF: Grandmother I need to talk to you
Grandma: [concerned voice] What? What is it? Are you sick?
BFF: No, no. Grandma. I'm gay.
Grandma: What?
BFF: I'm gay Grandma. I have a girlfriend now.
Grandma: [relieved voice] Oh honey, is that all? I thought you had cancer. Anytime someone needs to tell me something they are sick. Who's your girlfriend, when is her birthday? I'll bake her a pie.
wartortles:
if u are ever having trouble on a test, just write “jesus” for the answer bc jesus is always the answer. god bless
hipsterinatardis:
Naps are tricky because you either wake up refreshed and relaxed or you have a headache, dry throat, and are unaware of what year you’re in.
tumbler-teen:
who cares if school doesn’t teach us how to raise a family or get a job like at least I can find the area of a triangle.
epic-humor:
cockringtoss:
in other news an artist in wisconsin made a portrait of the former pope benedict
it is made of condoms
see more
rnemes:
do you ever “miss” a food after youre done eating it
vocaroo:
in the future if my kids tell me that they are gay i’ll just be like “what” because i don’t plan on having any kids so how the hell did they get there
rubywhiterabbit:
calderonbeta:
feralcastiel:
can you imagine if twitter existed in the 1800s
abe lincoln tweeting shit like “wow this play sucks just shoot me”
too soon
HE WAS SHOT IN 1865
talaem:
“don’t be shy” thanks u cured me
psychoticpingouins:
48 years ago a girl said “oh fuck me” to her best friend while walking in the street, a guy who randomly passed by answered by “let me at least buy you dinner first”. I present to you my grandparents, in love since then and celebrating their 47 years of marriage today.
